This Town aint Big Enough for the Both of Us
by Silver the Kid
Summary: A tall dark and handsome man comes to Ordon and is instantly a threat to Link. In his jealousy Link tries any crazy tactic he can to rid himself of the rude and unwanted rival. Post TP. slight Link/Ilia...


**Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, or any of the characters.**

**Author note: Hey! So this takes place after Twilight Princess, but not too far after. This is meant to be fun, so don't take it too seriously. I kind of characterized Link after the Link from the old 80's cartoon show- SH, don't let that scare you. I might make Link too weird or crazy- but Link doesn't really have a personality of his own, so I take advantage of that. I can't not put humor in my stories- even when I try to be serious. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and if you wouldn't mind reviewing and letting me know if this little story is any good, I'd much appreciate it. I have a few other LOZ fics in the works, so if people like this, I'll definitely post other stuff later. Much thanks!**

* * *

Much had changed in Hyrule after Link had saved the world of Twilight and Hyrule from Ganondorf. But much had gone back to normal, and Link mooching off Ilia for supper was of no exception. He had always been found at her kitchen table at dinner time.

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of nothing." Ilia sighed.

"It's not nothing!" Link argued. Earlier that day Talo and Colin had gotten into a fight, which somehow resulted in Sera's window being broken. Link had been there "stopping" the boys- although the word "encouraging" would fit a bit better- and Sera blamed him for it. Sera was renowned for her temper and was known to hold a grudge. Being the only store owner in the whole village and being angry at Link was kind of a problem for the boy.

"Just apologize!"

"But I didn't break the window! Ilia, there's no way around this. I'll just have to run away from home." He said in a very serious tone. She snorted, shaking her head. "Come on, you can come to. We'll elope or something. It'll be great." He smiled.

"And what about you and becoming the mayor?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Oh your dad will live forever- he LOVES being mayor. It's not even an issue." Link shrugged it off, taking a spoonful of stew into his mouth. She giggled, not taking him seriously.

Mayor Bo walked in from outside, whistling. He sat down at the table beside Ilia and frowned at Link.

"Link, that window you broke…"

"Hey, hey, hey! I didn't break it! Talo did!" Link defended himself, mouth full of stew. It dribbled down his chin a little.

"Well Sera says you did, and we're ALL hearing about it. Can't you just apologize and shut the damn woman up?" Bo sighed, rubbing his head.

"Hah, sorry daddy, Link would rather run away from Ordon. He wants to elope with me." Ilia teased, trying to get a reaction.

"Hell, why elope? You have my blessing! You two are practically married already." Bo laughed. Link and Ilia were always kind of dating, even if they didn't really understand it. But since they returned to Ordon, they had realized each others feelings and were now romantically involved. "You just be careful you don't break her heart!"

"Sir, I have seen the Princess Zelda herself, and the Queen of Twilight, and I still came back didn't I? I don't think there's a girl in Hyrule that'll turn my head." Link smiled, as he caught Ilia blushing, a smile on her lips. GOD he could be so charming.

"Well, that's all well and good, but the window… just go and apologize."

"Nope, it's against my principals as a man." Link said before shoving more food into his mouth.

"Fair enough." Bo shrugged, helping himself to some supper. You can't argue with principals. Ilia was about to criticize them both for being so pig headed, when something caught her eye.

"Oh! I think we have a visitor!" She stood up and looked out her window. Link frowned.

"Who visits Ordon?" He asked, but received no response.

"Oooh!" Ilia gushed. "Whoever they are, they're really handsome!" Link was at the window in seconds.

"He's not handsome!" Link sulked. "And I know Handsome!"

"Oh yea?" Ilia muttered, unimpressed.

"Yea, for example, I know that his horse is more handsome then he is."

"Oh Link, grow up." She rolled her eyes. "But it is a really lovely horse! It's white!"

"So what?! Everyone knows that the BEST horses are BROWN." Link snapped.

"Men who are noble, like Knights have white horses." Ilia smiled, wondering if the man was some sort of prince.

"But… But I'm a HERO! Isn't that better then a knight?!" Ilia ignored him, and headed out to meet the guest, along with her father. Link stood alone, in shock. Two minutes ago she was gushing over him, and NOW this guy on a horse comes in the picture and she forgets all about him?! What the hell is that about? He decided to go investigate the issue.

"Hello, young man, what brings you to Ordon?" Mayor Bo smiled warmly. The man jumped down from his horse. He was very tall, and solid. He had very masculine features, and curly dark hair. Link questioned what Ilia found so attractive in this man and his stupid square jaw.

"Well I'm here to meet a man I've heard many stories about while I was in Kakariko village." Link smiled. Maybe the guy isn't so bad, if he's come looking for him. "Are you Mayor Bo? Because that is the man I'm looking for." Link decided this guy was a real snake. Who cares about Mayor Bo?!

"Why yes I am! Are they still telling stories about me? They must have nothing better to do." Bo laughed. Link grumbled. They SHOULD be talking about the freakin guy that saved Hyrule from Ganondorf!

"Well, they told me you wrestled the Goron's and defeated them! No one else has ever done that! Or at least, no real person."

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!" Link had tried not to have an outburst, but it snuck out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"Um… yes?" The man frowned at Link, looking him up and down with disgust.

"Oh it's nothing, except that's not really true. I mean, Mayor Bo here was the FIRST to do it, but… well…" Link was now embarrassed. He didn't want Mayor Bo to think he was trying to out do him. Fortunately Bo understood Link 100. He saw how his daughter was looking at this man; Link needed him to back him up.

"Yes, Link here, he beat them at wrestling too!" Bo smiled. "Taught him everything he knows!" Link grinned, as Bo put a large hand on his shoulders.

"Oh really now… why do I find that hard to believe? No one ever mentioned some little BOY defeating the Gorons. Just Mayor Bo and some legendary hero." Link almost fell flat on his face.

"Um, well that's because I'm…Ok, well let me introduce myself. My name is Link."

"How lovely. My name is Revliss."

"…Yes…See I am THE Link." Link coughed. Ilia covered her face, embarrassed.

"…Sorry, I've never heard of any Link…"

"THE HERO!! My god!" Link snapped.

"You? The legendary hero? Peh."

"I don't think I'm Legendary…yet." Link frowned.

"Well all I heard was the hero was a green clad swordsman."

"Yes, that's Link here. The pride and Joy of Ordon!" Bo wanted this man to stop calling Link a liar before Link exploded. No one had ever seen Link upset before- it was weird.

"Hm, well you know how people are… gossipers, with no details."

"Well, do they at least describe me as tall in the 'legends'?" Link asked, not really caring that no one knew HE was the hero. Perhaps this was a good thing.

"No…."

"Revliss, just ignore him, he's just a braggart. Come inside and have some dinner, I just made it! You and my father can talk inside!" Ilia smiled, taking the man's arm.

"Why thank you!" Revliss smiled in return. Link glared daggers into the man's back. The children had gathered round to see what the excitement was.

"Who was that guy Link?" Talo asked.

"A pompous douche bag." Link growled. He turned to the boy and sighed. "Do you wanna go spread some rumors in Castletown, about me being 7 feet tall?"

"You're not even 5 feet." Malo snorted.

"You're not even 2 feet! And I happen to be 5 foot 7." Link huffed.

"Spreading rumors is for girls." Talo declined.

"Well Beth, how about you help me? I need to be more then that swordsman who wears green who saved Hyrule! I wanna be that TALL swordsman who wears green and saved Hyrule!" Link grinned, envisioning himself resting his arm on Revliss' head because he was SOOO much taller- oh and way buffer too.

"Is Ilia interested in that guy?" Beth asked, hopeful.

"Apparently… She certainly has forgotten I exist at the moment." Link sat on a rock, miserable. "We need to get rid of this guy before he causes any trouble."

"What do you want us to do Link?" Colin asked, ready to do anything for his friend and hero. Talo nodded, and forced Malo to agree. The kids always backed Link up no matter what the problem was- it typically led to a fun misadventure. Link grabbed a stick and started drawing a plan in the sand.

"But Link… if this guy does steal Ilia away from you… does that mean you will be my boyfriend?" Beth blushed, fantasizing Link taking her on late night walks to the forest, instead of Ilia.

"Beth, you're either with us or against us! I don't want your agenda foiling the plan!" Link pointed the stick at her. "This isn't about you or me, or even Ilia! It's about ORDON. This man is a bringer of DOOM. We'll all die if he stays here." Link lied.

"This is NO good. He's a demon!" Talo clenched his fists together. "Let's get his horse muddy!"

"YES!! Let's get his horse- what? Talo, that's a stupid idea." Link frowned. "However, if you wanna do that on your own time, be my guest."

"Awesome! I sure will! I love getting peoples junk messed up!"

"Serious guys, we need a serious plan."

"…why don't you just kill him if he's evil? Isn't that what you do?" Malo challenged.

"Malo, this is not the time or the place for murder plots." Link sighed. "Think a little less… serious."

"Let's get that bee's nest and throw it at him! All the bees came back after you knocked down their hive and rebuilt it. They'll be so grumpy to have it destroyed again!" Beth giggled.

"Beth, that is a perfect starting point. See guys? There's a reason I let a girl on the team. BRAINS."

"Oh." Colin and Talo frowned. Malo just rolled his eyes. Just as Link was about to draw out the plan of attack, the Mayor's door opened. Link quickly rubbed out the drawing with his foot, and changed the topic about how to use a bow and arrow.

"And THAT kids, is how you hit far off targets without cheating!" Link said a little too loud and fake.

"Link?" Ilia called, walking towards him, with Revliss behind her. "Can you do me a favor?" Link stood up, smiling.

"Of course I can! What is it?" Link was the residential Favor-doer.

"Well… since you live alone… and in a relatively spacious house… would it be ok if Revliss spent the next couple of nights with you?" She looked at him pleadingly, her green eyes tearing into his soul.

"What?! Are you serious? He's YOUR guest!" Link snapped.

"Link! Be hospitable! We have no where for him to stay! You live alone, and have way more space then Fado."

"Oh! But it's not like I have more then one bed!"

"It'll just be a couple of nights. Please?"

"Oh my g- FINE." Link grumbled, plopping onto his rock, miserable once more.

"Thank you! Revliss, gather your things and Link will escort you to his house." She smiled at the tall man. He smiled back, taking her hand.

"Thank you so much for you hospitality." He kissed her hand and she blushed. Link made a puking noise, which was followed by the children giggling. Ilia glared at him once Revliss left to get his horse.

"Link! You better behave yourself and not embarrass us anymore! You're acting like a child!"

"Ilia!" Link grumbled, but really had nothing to say.

"And please, let him sleep in your bed? Like a good host?"

"Only if I can sleep in yours." Link smiled cheekily, trying to kiss her cheek. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her house. Link huffed, and crossed his arms. He looked down at the kids and squatted. "Ok, we'll meet tomorrow morning, up at the ranch, and we'll finish making our plans there. I'm going to find out if he has any weaknesses!"

"This is going to be SO much fun!" Talo clenched his fists, excited.

"Excuse me, King of the Kids? Would you mind showing me where I will be staying?" Revliss coughed, impatient. Link stood and raised an eyebrow, questioningly. "Would you stop playing and show me where I will be staying?" He snapped, frustrated.

"You are SO pushy." Link mumbled. He waved to the kids and headed for his house.

"Oh." Revliss frowned.

"What?" Link asked, tying Revliss' horse next to Epona. "Is your horse a boy?" He asked absently, wondering if this was a good idea. Revliss ignored his second question and answered the first.

"I saw this place on the way to the village- I thought it was a tree house."

"Um… it is. It's a house… in a tree." Link started to climb the ladder.

"No I mean, a child's tree fort- you know?"

"You don't HAVE to stay here." Link grumbled. Revliss followed him up the ladder. He looked around. Pictures of goats, the children and other villagers were on the walls. He noticed a bed in the corner and headed to it, dropping his bags on to it.

"So this is my bed for the duration of the stay I take it."

"Um… NO. That's MY bed."

"Oh, dear me. How embarrassing. Ilia said you had a bed for me. I suppose I'll have to go back and tell-"

"OH fine, TAKE my bed. Just leave Ilia alone." Link grabbed some spare blankets out of his closet and climbed up a ladder taking them to the top floor. He threw them on the floor, and went back to get a pillow. He would just sleep on the little platform for the next few days. It was nicer up there anyway… sure.

"Oh, I see, you have a thing for Ilia then?" Revliss smirked.

"More like a relationship that a thing." Link muttered, trying to see if he could just toss the pillows up.

"Oh, that's peculiar, she didn't mention being in a relationship."

"Probably because you didn't ask." Link smiled as he got one pillow to land on the platform.

"Oh, well I did ask- and she failed to mention she was with you." Link had his back to him, but Link could hear the evil smirk on his face. Link wished he had his sword on hand, but he put all his weapons and armor from his quest into the basement. "She's a pretty girl-"

"So, what's your story anyway?" Link interrupted. "Why are you in Ordon?"

"I'm just an explorer- I'm a soldier from Hyrule, but I'm on leave for the next few weeks, so I decided to go traveling…" he went on and on about himself, while Link tuned him out. He looked out his window, and watched a little squirrel run around the glade. He absently wondered if he knew that squirrel from when he was a wolf before he was interrupted.

"So, I hear you're a farmer or something."

"Not really. I work on the ranch and just generally do whatever people ask me to do." Link shrugged, jumping from his ledge to the floor.

"I see. If you really are this legendary hero everyone keeps talking about, how did a boy with no military or combat training manage to save Hyrule?"

"Well… it's in my blood I guess. It really came naturally." Link realized this was a good opportunity to grill this guy- maybe find some sort of disgusting flaw that Ilia would be totally turned off by. "So… in your travels did you encounter anything that really… like scared you? Like… those crazy man eating flowers?"

"Deku baba? Oh those don't frighten me."

"Not even the really big ones that can eat you in ONE bite and even if you cut them, they chase you!?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Why? Were you scared of them, oh mighty hero?"

"NO!" Link snapped. "I just figured someone would be."

"Well, I'm not really scared of anything that I've encountered."

"WHAT IF you had no weapon?" Link pressed on.

"Um… no."

"You're a liar!" Link was getting very frustrated with this lying no good… "Everyone is afraid of something."

"So what are you afraid of?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Tell me! If you tell me I'll tell you mine."

"You just-"

"I lied."

"Hm." Link thought for a moment. "I'm afraid of Poe's I guess. I guess almost anything that's "undead" or dead but still moving." Link had a sudden memory of Arbitor grounds, when he was looking for the mirror. "Eeeeh, Re-deads are the WORSE." He shuddered, remembering its terrifying scream that would paralyze him. He hated them, they were so hard to defeat, and always had a little dwarf-sized mummy army with them.

"Peh, ghosts? You really need to grow up." Revliss snorted, helping himself to some fruit sitting on Link's table, much to Link's annoyance.

"Shut up." Link grumbled. "It's your turn."

"I suppose the biggest fear I have is…Your mom." He smirked, taking a bite of his apple.

"YOU-" Link stopped himself from pummeling the smug man into the floor. He just glared. Revliss swore he could hear the blond boy growling in his throat, which made him snicker. Link snorted and climbed up the ladder to where he was going to be sleeping. He was fuming too much to actually fall asleep, so he spent the night planning his revenge.

* * *

"I don't think it will work." Beth frowned. Talo glared at her, and turned back to his plan in the sand.

"Yes it WILL Beth. All we need to do is to get him to stand on the X, and Link will use his slingshot to knock the bee hive on to his head. He'll run around with the hive on his head and trip over the trip wire, here. He will then fall in the mud, stopping the bees, but making him WAY too dirty for Ilia to like. He will then be swollen and muddy, and it'll be so funny."

"I like it." Colin smiled. Beth rolled her eyes.

"Ok, so he'll eagerly stand on an X because…?"

"He's stupid?" Talo shrugged. Link sluggishly entered the field, late for work. Fado saw him and smiled.

"Hey pal, what's going on? You're late, eh?"

"Sorry, that stupid guy was staying at my house and was just such a jerk; I was up all night in a rage."

"You? In a rage? That's unheard of." Fado laughed. "Well don't let him get to ya, it's not worth it." Talo ran over to the two ranchers, excited to tell Link his perfect plan.

"Link! I made up the plan for getting Revliss to leave- AND HE GETS MUDDY!"

"Really? Lets see it." He and Fado followed the younger boy to his plan sketch, where he explained it to him. Link frowned.

"Why would he stand on the X?"

"That's what I said!" Beth threw her hands up in the air.

"Hey! Why are you guys trying to get those bees above my house all angry? I don't want them to attack me!" Fado frowned. "This is a little much don't ya think?" He asked Link, who ignored his latter question.

"We're killing two birds with one stone- we're going to get rid of that bee hive and get rid of this stupid jerk. Fado, trust me, it'll be fine. I have a much better plan." Link smiled. "I'll use my Boomerang I found in the Forest temple, it'll take the beehive, and then hit Revliss with it. Now I need a brave volunteer to keep Revliss in one spot so I can make sure the bees will go to him."

No one volunteered.

"Well GUYS, I have to throw the boomerang. I can't do both- Talo, your brave! You be the volunteer."

"No, I'm not stupid, Colin, you're stupid, you do it!"

"No! I'm not going to get stung by bees- it was your idea Beth, you do it."

"I'm a girl! You can't put me in harms way! Fado, you're big and strong, You do it!"

"I'M NOT EVEN IN ON THIS CRAZY PLAN!!" Fado exclaimed, frustrated. Silence. "Malo, you do it."

"Jerk." Malo frowned.

"Revliss won't talk to Malo, because Malo can't keep up polite conversation long enough for this plan to work." Link sighed. Everyone nodded in agreement. "Ok, straws."

Beth, Talo, Colin- and somehow Fado- drew straws out of Link's hands. Talo was outraged to find he lost.

"Don't worry Talo. Beth, Fado and Malo will stand in your sight, and give you the signal to let you know its coming. Then, you prepare to run away. You'll see it coming before it hits him, because his back should be towards us." Link clapped his hands together. "Well, lets get some revenge."

…………

"Mr. Revliss!" Talo shouted, running over to the tall man, when he was standing in a good place. He made sure that Revliss had his back on Fado's house. "I heard you were a SOLDIER! THAT'S SO COOL!"

"You think so eh?" Revliss smirked.

"Do you have any cool stories of Battle?!" Talo asked, with enthusiasm.

"Welllll, I guess I could spare a moment to boast. I bet my stories are far more interesting then that Link boys."

Colin and Link prepared to throw the Boomerang. Link took aim, while he waited for Colin to give the word.

"K, Beth and the others are in position…. Thumbs up… Go." Link threw the boomerang, and it sucked up the hive in its gust. It made its way towards Talo and Revliss. Beth made the signal for Talo, who kept a close eye for the Hive. Then things went astray from the plan: Ilia.

"Hey Talo, Revliss." She smiled. Talo saw the hive, and panicked. He jumped into Ilia, sending the two of them falling down into a flower bed. Revliss was smacked by the bee hive, but Talo failed to get far enough away. Ilia and Talo jumped up, getting stung.

"OH SHIT. Take this to my house, and never speak of it again!" Link shoved the boomerang into Colin's hands and ran towards Ilia and Talo. Ilia screamed as a bee stung her arm, and ankle.

"The stream! The stream!!" Link yelled, throwing Ilia into the water. Talo jumped in right after. Revliss was rolling on the ground, covered in honey and bees, screaming.

"LINK! HELP HIM!" Ilia fumed. Link groaned, preparing to get stung. Stupid Ilia getting in the way of flawless revenge.

About 20 minutes later Link and Talo sat in front of Mayor Bo and Pergie. Revliss sat to the side with Ilia. She had a few stings, but not many. As did Talo and Link. Link took some joy in the fact that Revliss' was all swollen and gotten the most stings of anybody. Unfortunately everyone knew he and Talo were behind the whole mess. They made sure to keep the others out of it, much to Talo's disappointment.

"I'm very disappointed in you two!" Bo frowned at them. "That was a very childish and mean prank to pull."

"Talo, you are in SOOO much trouble when you get home! When I tell your FATHER about this-"

"Oh Pergie, don't get him in trouble, it was all me. I told Talo to help me." Link pleaded, using his big blue eyes against the woman. "I was the one who threw the hive and it was all my idea."

"Link, you should KNOW better, but Talo, you should know when to say 'no'." Pergie scolded.

"They HAVE to apologize!" Ilia yelled from the table, in a rage.

"They WILL Ilia." Pergie rolled her eyes. Ilia said that about every five minutes- she was going to be the new Sera. "Boys, apologize, and… uhg, I dunno, Go sit in a corner."

"The CORNER?" Link gasped, appalled. "I'm 17! I shouldn't have to sit in the corner!"

"Well if you were a MATURE 17 year old you wouldn't have pulled that little stunt." She scolded. Link groaned red in the face. Talo apologized right away, hoping to get some leniency from his mom for cooperating.

"Well, apology accepted." Revliss sort of smiled, but his face was so swollen he couldn't. He looked over at Link, smugly, knowing this in itself was torture for the boy. Link was pushed over to the table by Bo. Ilia glared at him, expectantly. Link looked at his feet, embarrassed at being treated like a 10 year old in front of his smug rival. He might as well just die.

"Well…um… I guess… I should…uh, well… maybe I should say…ssssssomething apology like…" Link muttered, almost inaudible.

"LINK." Bo was standing behind Link towering over him. Link cringed slightly, not wanting to enrage the biggest man in the village any further.

"Ok! Ok! I'm sorry!" '_That you're such a douche bag_.' Link added in his head, bitterly.

"Well, Link, I guess I will accept your apology." Revliss just oozed with smugness. If it weren't for Link's incredible will power, he would have lunged at the tall man, screaming and punching like a maniac. Instead he followed Talo to the corner, and sat on a stool beside the younger boy.

"We're in so much trouble…" Talo whispered. Link grit his teeth, and clenched his fists.

"I hate him. I hate him. I hate him." Link chanted, forgetting how to say anything else at the moment. Talo nudged his stool away, worried for his safety. Later that afternoon after finally being allowed out of the corner with just a warning. Pergie and Bo hadn't really cared about it as much as they let on, it was only for show in front of the guest.

"That was lucky." Talo exhaled. "Well, at least we got him-"

"We didn't! He made idiots out of us-"

"Out of you."

"SHUT UP!" Link growled. "We need a new plan."

"Well… I don't think I'll help you this time… I mean… I'd rather not get mom mad at me… she will make it so I can't sit down for a week- you know?"

"You're abandoning the campaign?!" Link stopped, and stared at the younger boy in shock.

"Well… I don't wanna push my luck…" Talo wanted to say 'you're taking this too far'. But he didn't have the nerve.

"Ok, ok, I understand." Link sighed. He couldn't push the kids to do all his bidding. "It looks like a Solo mission now…" Link was dramatic.

* * *

It was probably the most awkward moment of Link's life. He sat at his table, while Revliss sat on the other side, glaring at each other in an uncomfortable silence.

"So." Link broke the silence. "How's the swelling."

"It hurts less."

"Well it certainly improved your face." Link grinned.

"I ought to beat your short, scrawny, little body into a pulp." Revliss threatened.

"I'm wiry, thanks." Link continued to grin. "And I don't think a tall, gangly, and above all UGLY guy like you has the ability to beat me to a pulp." Revliss stood up, furious.

"You snot nosed little whelp!"

"Stupid douche bag!"

"Immature little BRAT!"

"Pompous old NOBODY!"

"AAAAAH!!" Revliss snapped, and lunged across the table at Link. The two rolled on the floor, Link pushing his palm into Revliss' face, hoping that the swelling would make it hurt even more. Revliss had his hands around Link's throat, trying to strangle him. They continued to roll around, punching and screaming, Link occasionally would bite the man's wrist when he went for his neck. "You Little BEAST!" Revliss shook his hand. "Biting is unfair!"

"Sorry, reflex!" Link slammed his fist into the taller man's face.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Ilia yelled, standing at Link's door. Link looked up at her, his arm in position to go for another punch. He stared blankly for a moment before responding.

"Um… hello? Ever heard of KNOCKING." Was all he could think to say, which was probably the stupidest thing he could have said. Ilia slapped him across the face, and helped Revliss to his feet.

"I had NO idea you were such a brute, Link!" She scolded. "Are you ok Revliss?"

"He started it!" Link whined.

"Come on Revliss, you can stay with us, instead of this maniac." Ilia glared at Link.

"GOOD! I didn't want him in my house ANYWAY!" Link crossed his arms. "You can keep that villain in YOUR home!"

"Villain!?" Revliss coughed.

"I'm onto you!" Link had no idea what he was actually talking about, but sure, it sounded good. Ilia rolled her eyes and the two left. "YAY! I get my BED back!" Link hollered after them. He sighed, sitting in his chair again. He was now certain Ilia would break up with him for all this bull.

For the rest of the night, Link looked out his window, unable to sleep. He was in so much trouble with the village. He sighed, thinking about how disappointed everyone was with him for his behavior since Revliss came into the village. But they didn't realize how much of a jerk this guy was! He was rude, and pompous and trying to steal his girlfriend! What would they do? He supposed the bee stunt was a bit stupid, and the fist fight… and the mud on his horse- he didn't do that, but he got the blame. He bit his lip, wondering how long it would take for them to notice the fire ants he put in Revliss' luggage… maybe that was a bad idea.

"Uhg, that's it. I'm running away from home." He decided not for the first time that week. He blinked, seeing a shadow come from the village. He ducked down, so his silhouette wouldn't be too obvious in the window. He squinted to see who it was. Maybe it was Ilia coming for some angry apology love making! Or Ilia coming to kill him for the fire ants… He gasped when he saw it was actually Revliss. Oh no! Revliss was coming to kill him for the ants!

Link was surprised to see him head down towards the spirit spring instead. Link threw on some pants and followed him, not bothering with shoes or a shirt. There was no time for that nonsense! Revliss was up to something.

He followed him across the bridge, into the forest. He went into a glade that Link had never seen before. He noticed markings on the ground that were etched in with a stick recently. Revliss made a fire in the center, and started chanting. Suddenly the markings started to glow. Link's eyes widened, as the fire tripled in size and he could make out a face in the fire. It was very familiar.

"Master Ganondorf!" Revliss cried. Link almost fell over with shock.

"Why have you summoned me, have you succeeded in getting the Triforce of courage?" Ganon bellowed.

"No, my lord. He's onto me though. He's everything you said and more! He attacked me with Bees!"

"…bees…" Ganon didn't sound amused. "Are you a complete moron?"

"Um…"

"I'll give you more power, but listen to me! He defeated ME remember?! TAKE THIS MORE SERIOUS! I want to come back from this hell sometime this CENTURY ok?"

"Yes my lord." Ganondorf's face disappeared from the fire, and Revliss was engulfed by it. Link backed away, not sure what to do. Suddenly the fire shrunk to its original size and Revliss stood unharmed. He started laughing manically. "Yes, I know what to do now. BOOAHAHA!"

"I have to tell the others!" Link gasped. "He's trying to take my Triforce so he can bring Ganondorf back from the dead!" Link paused for a moment. "How does that even work?" He jumped into the bushes as Revliss passed. Link decided he couldn't do anything at the moment. But tomorrow morning, he'd warn Mayor Bo and Ilia.

* * *

"…Are you sure you weren't dreaming this?" Bo asked, blankly.

"I saw it!"

"Well… it seems a little… farfetched."

"No, it seems perfectly LOGICAL! Ganondorf has the Triforce of Power, Zelda has the Triforce of Wisdom and I have the Triforce of courage! Maybe Zelda is in trouble right now!? Maybe Revliss already took hers!"

"If he was evil and wanted your Triforce, why didn't he take it from you when you were sleeping?"

"……….."

"Exa-"

"He didn't wanna give away his position!"

"Link. This is silly. Just stop, your obsessing. All the childish pranks you've pulled haven't been helping your case either. I know you're jealous, but he's just visiting for a few days."

"Why though? Huh? He's a villain! A Fiend! He'll eat all your food and sleep with our women!" Link slammed his fists onto the table.

"You're being dramatic again." Bo rolled his eyes. Link continued on his rant, not even realizing Bo had picked him up by the scruff of his shirt, and carried him outside. He dropped him on the porch like an unwanted puppy, and shut the door.

"He'll smash EVERY last pump- HEY!!" Link suddenly realized he was alone, outside. "Fine." He sulked.

"Link! There you are- you still work for me right?" Fado asked, slightly annoyed at the boy. Two days in a row he didn't come to work. To Link's defense, Fado let him off the day prior, because he got suckered into the plan. However, Link should have come to work today.

"Fado, I need your help!"

"No, Link! I know what your going to say and the answer is no. You're getting yourself all worked up for nothing!" Fado crossed his arms, firm. "Now come on, those goats aren't going to milk themselves."

"But Fado-"

"NO."

"Bu-"

"N.O! NO!" Fado pushed Link towards the ranch.

"Listen! He's evil, I saw it! He's working for Ganondorf and he wants to kill me for my-"

"Listen to yourself! You're starting to sound crazy!" Fado scolded. "Listen. Ilia will forgive you eventually if you quit it. But if you keep this up, and keep making up wild stories to get everyone to side with you, you're gonna wind up alone, with everyone mad at you. It's not worth it Link, your losing your head over this."

"It's not about Ilia anymore! Really, he's going to ki-"

"Not another word about it. Believe me, I'm on your side, man, but you just have to drop it for a while."

"AAAH!" Link pulled his hair in frustration.

After Link had finished all his chores, and was finally allowed to go home, Link went directly to Rusl.

"Rusl, no one else believes me, but you do right?!" Link really was starting to seriously sound crazy, but he was desperate to get someone to believe him.

"Um… but you killed Ganondorf… so…"

"I know! I was shocked too!"

"Listen, Link. You're like a family member to everyone in the village, everyone cares about you… and right now everyone is really worried your letting this guy get to you. The whole village is talking about-"

"I'm not crazy!!"

"I know. I didn't say you were… I think you just need a break. Why don't you and I go for a walk, like we use to? Hm? That'd be nice and stress free, and you-"

"FORGET IT! I'll just get him myself! If he kills you in your sleep, just remember who tried to warn you all!!" Link stormed out, furious.

"He'll get over it." Uli said absently, while rocking their daughter. Rusl just shook his head, not really sure if she was even listening to the conversation.

Outside, Colin was running after Link.

"Hey! Why'd you leave my house so angry? Huh? What's wrong? Huh? What's going on?" the boy kept pestering him.

"Nothing!" He snapped. Colin backed away. He'd heard Link was off his rocker lately, but he didn't believe it till now. Link stormed up to Beth, who was standing in the stream trying to find the prettiest rocks for a rock garden she was making. "Where's Ilia?" He asked. She bit her lip.

"Oh… Revliss took her out on a walk somewhere." Beth frowned. "Ilia says you're a lunatic. You should forget her and be my boyfriend- I like crazy!" Link didn't respond and turned to leave, before Sera stopped him, grabbing him by the arm.

"YOU! The little trouble maker this week! You have yet to do something about my WINDOW!"

"I didn't do it!" Link whined. "Sera, I can't do anything about this right now, I got to find Ilia." Link didn't have a clue where to look for her, and didn't have time to waste. Revliss could be eating her spleen right now.

"Ilia? She went out for a walk, with Revliss. Into the forest she said- she's mad at YOU boy, and I don't blame her. You've been nothing but a-"

"Thanks Sera, I gotta go!" He hugged her for being very informative, and ran away. She stood, unsure if she should be mad or… what… She turned to Beth and Colin. "He really has lost it hasn't he?"

Link ran as fast as lightening, scaring Epona as he sped past her. He bolted across the bridge, hoping to catch up to them. However, he bumped into them before that, as they were returning to the bridge. Ilia had a pleasant expression on her face for a change since Revliss had showed up.

"Oh. Hello Link." Ilia smiled.

"Ilia!? Are you ok?! He didn't eat your spleen?!" Link grabbed her shoulders, in a panic.

"Oh, Link. You're so silly. We're going home." She walked past him. Link glared at Revliss, who just smirked. Something was wrong. Ilia wasn't mad at him. She seemed out of it completely. Link couldn't think like that. Link walked around in circles, unsure what he was looking for. He gave up on looking for evidence and ran back to the village, and into Bo's house.

"BO! Where's Ilia!?" Link panted, leaning forward trying to catch his breath. Bo looked at him puzzled.

"In her room."

"Where's Revliss?"

"In the room we set up for him- since you couldn't behave yourself for two minutes." Bo rolled his eyes. He had to turn his sumo ring into a bed for Revliss.

"Whatever, I'm going to talk to-"

"Link, go home." Bo stood in front of Link, blocking him. "I'm sure nothing happened on their wal-"

"Are you still on about that?!" Link groaned. He jumped onto a chair so he could whisper into Bo's ear. "He's seriously up to something. Did you talk to Ilia? She's like a zombie or something!"

"Link…" Bo sighed. Link frowned and jumped off the chair, giving up on Bo's help. "Trust me, lad, it'll be fine. Just relax, go take Epona for a ride or something that will take your mind off this. I'll talk to Ilia, ok?" Bo ruffled Link's hair, as if he was doing Link some huge service.

"Yea, thanks." Link sighed, turning and leaving. What good would talking to Ilia do? Bo watched Link leave, and sighed. He was worried Ilia's infatuation with Revliss would be the death of the boy. He turned around to go talk to her about it, but Revliss was standing behind him.

"Oh hello, Revliss." He smiled. Revliss smirked, his eyes glowed a fiery yellow. Bo gasped, and tried to yell, but he felt his energy being drained out of him. He soon stood, with glazed over eyes, staring.

"The amount of energy I just consumed from you should be enough to destroy Link." Revliss smirked. He sat Bo down at the table. "I have Ilia's energy, that rancher's, the store clerk's, that swordsman's wife… and now you. Soon I'll have the entire village, before Link even catches on." He chuckled

* * *

Link was in his basement, trying to find his shield and sword. He ran out of lantern oil, and didn't want to talk to Sera again to get more. He fumbled blindly in the dark, until he found them. He found his "Hero" clothes with them, and wondered if he should change into them… it was much more protective then his regular clothing- not to mention lighter. Having decided that was the best plan, he brought all the items up stairs. He quickly changed, and sharpened his sword. Once he finished sharpening it, he headed outside, and climbed down the ladder. The sun was beginning to set, but Link noticed Fado had not returned home yet from the ranch. He decided to check that out first. He saw the rancher standing in the middle of the field, staring. Link frowned, finding that a little odd. "Fado?!" Link called out, while running up to him.

"Hello." Fado smiled.

"Are… you ok? Why aren't you home?"

"I don't know."

"Um." Link was officially weirded out. He was acting just like Ilia. "Did you talk to Revliss today?"

"Yes."

"I see. Well… Bye!" Link ran away, leaving his friend in the field to continue staring. Link knew Revliss had done something to Ilia. He was turning everyone into brainless zombies! He couldn't figure out why just yet- but he figured he'd find out.

Looking around the now dark village, no lights were on, which was really strange. It was too early for everyone to be sleeping… He peeked into Mayor Bo's house, and saw him sitting at his table, blankly. Just like Fado, and Ilia.

"Hello, Link." A very evil voice said from behind- an evil voice that belonged to Revliss. "Just starting to notice what I've done to everybody?"

"Why are you doing this?" Link growled.

"I sucked up all their life energy so I can become more powerful, which leaves them like empty shells. They're basically puppets." He smiled.

"Why do you work for Ganondorf, and how will taking my triforce help?" Link questioned.

"Oh you knew all that eh? That's surprising." Revliss snorted.

"I followed you last night…" Link admitted.

"Oh."

"Yea, I'm stealthy like that."

"I see… WELL… I worked for Ganondorf when he was trying to take over Hyrule. I worked for Zelda as a guard, and he offered me more. I can be powerful, famous, rich…anyway, after you killed him, I found a way to connect to the afterlife through some ritual, and promised to get a Triforce, so that I would be powerful enough to open up a gate from the after life, to here. THEN he could escape and take over Hyrule, making me second in Command! BOOHAHAHA!!"

"Why… don't you just leave him in hell… and…take over Hyrule yourself?" Link asked, puzzled.

"I'm way too lazy."

"Oh."

"Yea." Revliss ran a hand through his hair.

"Isn't this MORE work?"

"…Whatever, I'm just going to kill you now." Revliss sighed, frustrated. Link pulled out his sword, and prepared himself for an attack. Revliss charged at him with his sword, but Link dodged him with ease. Link then swung his sword, slicing into Revliss' arm. The taller man glared at him, as he grit his teeth in pain. "You'll pay for that." He lunged at Link again, but struck his shield instead of the green clad boy. Link smashed Revliss in the face with his shield then wailed on his skull with the flat side of his sword, flying over Revliss' head, with his heroic finesse. He then kicked Revliss in the back, sending him sprawling in the mud.

"HAHAHA!" Link laughed, pleased with himself. Revliss stood up, rubbing his head. "I could have killed you right there, but this is way too much fun!"

"You'll regret it." Revliss promised and then he began chanting something. Link yawned.

"You better hurry up with your praying, before I get impatient and just…um…" Link trailed off, noticing that Revliss was starting to change. He was getting bigger, and darker. His eyes glowed yellow, and his whole body began to morph into a different shape. "Aw, crap." Link sighed. Revliss towered over him, a huge monster with claws, fangs and everything- even horns! He roared, nearly blowing Link away, the odd bit of spittle smacking the boy in the face.

"Ew." Link grumbled, wiping his face with his hand. Link looked for a weak spot, and then went for it, but he was swatted away. Shaking it off, he tried again, but he was stopped by Revliss' huge paw coming down on top of him. As the Beast tried to crush him with his weight, Link wielded his sword like a maniac, cutting into Revliss' paw and forearm. Eventually Revliss had to back off before Link cut into something vital. Link gasped for air, and felt for broken ribs. He was fine.

Trying his luck, Link lunged at Revliss' stomach, dodging his paw as Revliss tried to bat him away. He managed to impale the beast through his stomach. Revliss screamed in agony, and Link withdrew his sword. He jumped up and did his infamous spin attack, slicing into Revliss' chest. He then stabbed him in his upper thigh, hoping to cripple his movements. When he withdrew his sword from Revliss' leg, he was slammed into the wall of Sera's shop.

"OOOOW." Link groaned. He shook his head, trying to regain focus, and noticed he cracked her wall. "Ok… this time it WAS kind of my fault." He muttered. He turned back to Revliss and ran at him, with a bit of a limp. He figured it was fair, since Revliss was limping too. Revliss was bleeding profusely, and Link wondered how long he would last. Revliss kept trying to trample Link, and with his limp, Link was finding it harder and harder to dodge. Link rolled between Revliss' legs and latched onto the hair on his back. He climbed up, until he was between his shoulder blades. Revliss shook and tried to grab at him, but he was too big to reach.

"Tell Ganondorf I say hi!" Link smirked, before he stuck his sword up through the back of Revliss' skull, into his brain. The large beast fell to the ground and after a moment of spazzing and gross noises, died.

"WAAAAHOOO!!" Link dropped his sword and shield, and started dancing- ignoring the pain in his leg. "You're dead! You're dead! I win! You lose!" He started thrusting his pelvis. "How do you like THAT! HAHAHAHA!" It was at the thrusting that everyone started coming out of their homes, having regained their energy.

"Link?" Everyone stared at him, puzzled.

"UUUUH…" Link stood embarrassed. He pointed to Revliss' monster carcass. "He was evil…"

"He really was a demon!" Talo shouted, excited. "Link was right all along! Right as soon as that guy came here Link said he'd kill us all!" Talo informed the village. Link had never been so happy to have an outrageous lie come true.

"You saved us from that jerk!" Ilia cheered. She ran over to him, hugging him tightly, kissing his cheek madly.

"Well I do what I can…" Link smiled.

"And we didn't believe you…" Bo frowned. "Sorry Lad." Everyone apologized to Link, especially Ilia, who now claimed that she had also thought Revliss was up to something. Link just let her have it, it was easier.

"MY WALL!!" Sera screamed, staring at the large crack in her shop wall. "LINK!!"

"Aw crap." Link sighed, pulling his cap down over his eyes, as if that made the outraged shop keeper disappear. Ilia giggled, and kissed him on the cheek. Everything was now back to normal in Ordon- except for a really big monster carcass. But that's another story.

END


End file.
